Friday, August 17, 2012

Dumb-Ass Yankee Runs Down the South in "Better Off Without 'Em"

Some Northern jackass has written a book urging that Southern secession finally be allowed to proceed.  Chuck Thompson, a self-proclaimed liberal, believes the South is so backward and culturally inferior that the North would be "Better Off Without 'Em," which is the title of his poisonous little tome.

Thompson toured the South looking for evidence that his preconceived notions and prejudices were true all along.  Southerners are people who believe (bwa-ha-ha!) in God, Fox News and the Republican Party.  How backward can you get?  Don't the Southrons know that such things are uncool in the snooty cocktail parties of Boston and New York?

"Better Off Without "Em" is a narcissistic, Northern exercise in snobbery and conceit, a way of saying "Look how COOL, sophisticated, enlightened and educated WE ARE compared to these laughable Southerners!  We are just SO SUPERIOR!"  However, Thompson's orgy of self-congratulation does underscore an important difference between Yankees and Southrons.  The former (like Thompson) care deeply about their social standing, and desperately need validation, esteem and acceptance from other "sophisticates."  In order to achieve this high level of snobbery, it is important to go to the right schools, hold the right opinions, and vote for the right (which means left) candidates.  Southrons just don't give a damn, viewing such values as superficial and such attitudes as nonsense.

In spite of the book's rampant bigotry, however, it does reach a point we can all agree with.  The South would be much "better off without 'em."  However, the corollary isn't true.  Just as Lincoln could not let the South go, neither can the modern day liberals and leftists of  today, and for the same reason:  they need our tax revenues.  Parasites cannot survive without a host.

Update:  See also the Wall Street Journal's review, reprinted in Southern Partisan.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

The Southern Poverty Law Center (Photoshop)

                                                 The Southern Poverty Law Center

General Biden Plans Re-Burning of North

Joe Biden, V.P. of Union Forces in the South and a reincarnation of General William Tecumseh Sherman, wants to repeat his past successes.

The other day, while speaking at a political rally, General Biden opined that he believed the forces of Obama-Biden could once again win in North Carolina.  The only problem was that he was speaking in Virginia.  Whoops!

To further demonstrate his agility with a crowd, General Biden then told a largely black audience in Virginia that Romney-Ryan wanted "to put them back in chains."  The NAACP later stated, that although most everything offends them mightily, this remark did not, since it was made by a political ally who is sworn to giving them free goodies and perpetuating their holy victimhood status.

To further demonstrate his racial sensitivity, General Biden then distributed free watermelons to the crowd, emblazoned with Obama-Biden 2012 bumper stickers. Remember, the next time you want a fiery path burned through the South (not to mention the U.S. economy), you can count on General William Tecumseh Biden.

General Biden is the only known general to march through Georgia with his boot firmly planted in his mouth.  He might have burned it too, but the high command knew better than to trust him with matches.

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Abraham Lincoln Reacts To Dixie Going Republican

Abe Reacts to Southern Capture
of the Republicans
No, the South has not become Republican; the Republican Party has become Southern.

We have not been captured by Abe's party; we have captured HIS party.

Our special reporter contacted Old Abe in the Netherworld to get his reaction to this happy circumstance.  His response is noted at left.

Meanwhile, read all about it here.

Saturday, August 11, 2012

U.S. Army Preparing For Next Civil War?

Some retired Army officer, one Colonel Kevin Benson, has written an article for Small Wars Journal (referenced by the Washington Times) advocating US military preparation for putting down a future rebellion of American citizens.  In other words, some people believe that a new Civil War is possible in our increasingly divided nation, and want to prepare for its suppression.

The Colonel's fictitious scenario involves wicked Tea Partiers taking forcible control of local governments, arresting local politicians and rounding up illegal aliens for deportation.  So far, I'm in with the plan (just kidding).

As our increasingly statist, overreaching federal leviathan slowly imposes socialism on us, removes more of our rights, confiscates our guns and taxes us to the point of desperation, some sort of rebellion is indeed possible (and in my opinion, desirable).  However, such a rebellion, to be effective, should be done through our political leaders at the state level, and preferably in an entirely peaceful manner, such as through nullification of unconstitutional federal laws and even secession.  Of course, it might not remain peaceful, when the federals again try to force their will on the people of the states through armed conflict.

The Washington Times article states:
The article is a choppy patchwork of doctrinal jargon and liberal nightmare. The authors make a quasi-legal case for military action and then apply the Army’s Operating Concept 2016-2028 to the situation. They write bloodlessly that “once it is put into play, Americans will expect the military to execute without pause and as professionally as if it were acting overseas.” They claim that “the Army cannot disappoint the American people, especially in such a moment,” not pausing to consider that using such efficient, deadly force against U.S. citizens would create a monumental political backlash and severely erode government legitimacy.
Yeah, who knows.  It might even lead to secession.

Read it all here.